Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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