Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
