Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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