I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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