Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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