The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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