Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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