I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
