I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
