google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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