Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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