Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
