This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
