I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
