But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
We're facebook friends in real life
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
