I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
