he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
