Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
