I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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