I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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