she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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