last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
