me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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