I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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