You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
