Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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