thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize