Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm both gender and math confused
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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