honey bunches of taint.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you win again, gameday.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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