Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
