you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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