thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
