decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
