We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
