why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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