so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
