If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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