Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
