I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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