I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
