She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
