Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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