I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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