He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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