yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
