we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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