I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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