why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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