we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
