Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
