I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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