It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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