the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Randomize
