he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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