You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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