The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
