Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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