Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
