we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
