Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
