what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
