I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
